BATH TIME ~

* Bathtime is successful when your kids get wetter than you do. -- Dee Ann Stewart from "What Spock Forgot"

* When in doubt, take a bath. -- Mae West

BIRTHDAY MESSAGES / AGE ~

* May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live. -- Irish toast

* Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful older people are works of art. -- Irish Toast

* How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?

* Some like Sunday some like Monday, but I like your birthday.

* I send you warm wishes and that your happiness will be as wonderful as the happiness you have always given me.

* We know we are getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. -- Author Unknown

* There is still no cure for the common birthday. -- John Glenn

* A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. -- Author Unknown

* Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. -- Menachem Mendel Schneerson

* Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. -- Chili Davis

* Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese. -- Billie Burke

* A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age. -- Author Unknown

* Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. -- Author Unknown

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. -- Author Unknown

* May you live to be a hundred years, with one extra year to repent. -- Irish Toast

* May you live long, die happy, and rate a mansion in heaven. -- Irish Toast

BOYS / SONS ~

* A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does, and about two years after he thinks he does. -- Lewis B Hershey

* A boy is a magical creature. You can lock him out of your workshop, but you can not lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but you can not get him out of your mind. -- Alan Beck

* A boy is the only thing that God can use to make a man. -- Author Unknown

* A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair, and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. -- Author Unknown

* A boy's best friend is his mother. -- Joseph Stefano

* A boy's story is the best that is ever told. -- Charles Dickens

* A small son can charm himself into, and out of, most things. -- Jenny de Vries

* A treasure to a little boy does not consist of money, gems or jewellery. He will find far greater pleasure in the wonder of a rock, pebble, stick or beetle. -- Author Unknown

* Baseball is where boys practice being men and men practice being boys, and they get real good at it. -- Mary Cecile Leary

* Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood, we find a delightful creature of a boy. -- Author Unknown

* Boys are God's way of telling you your house is too clean! -- Author Unknown

CATS ~

* A cat will be your friend, but never your slave. -- Theophile Gautier

* Her function is to sit and be admired. -- Georgina Strickland Gates

* It is really the cats house - we just pay the mortgage. -- Unknown

* Who hath a better friend than a cat. -- William Hardwin

* I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. -- Edgar Allan Poe

* The smallest feline is a masterpiece. -- Leonardo da Vinci

* In the middle of a world that had always been a bit mad, the cat walks with confidence. -- Rosanne Amberson

* Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. -- Unknown

* Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. -- Jeff Valdez

* As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. -- Ellen Perry Berkeley

* You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats. -- Proverb

* A cat will do what it wants when it wants, and there is not a thing you can do about it. -- Frank Perkins

* If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first. -- Arthur Weigall

* If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat. -- Author Unknown

* Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened. -- Author Unknown

CHILDREN ~

* Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap. -- Barbara Jordan

* We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. -- Tacia Tauscher

* You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. -- Franklin P. Jones

* A characteristic of the normal child is he does not act that way very often. -- Author Unknown

* We have had bad luck with our kids - they have all grown up. -- Christopher Morley

* A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. -- Author Unknown

* Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. -- Harold Hulbert

* A child reminds us that playtime is an essential part of our daily routine. -- Anonymous

* In the spring, at the end of the day you should smell like dirt. -- Margaret Atwood

* The world is mud-licious and puddle-wonderful. -- E.E Cummings

* A child's world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. -- Rachel Carson

* Our greatest natural resource is the minds or our children. -- Walt Disney

* Bathtime is successful when your kids get wetter than you do. -- Dee Ann Stewart from "What Spock Forgot"

* Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. -- Red Buttons

* It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. -- Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

* I may be small but in the biggest helpfullest way! -- Piglet

* Children make your life important. -- Erma Bombeck

DISNEY ~

* I can't believe it. I've never seen so many books in all my life! -- Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

* You can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse, but maybe that's not what you had in mind. -- The Incredibles

* I'm not as crazy as you are, put me down. -- Mowgli (The Jungle Book)

* I may be small but in the biggest helpfullest way! -- Piglet

DOGS ~

* Happiness is a warm puppy. -- Charles M. Schulz

* There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -- Ben Williams

* My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. -- Edith Wharton

* One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you are feeling blue is that he does not try to find out why. -- Author Unknown

* The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic. -- Henry Ward Beecher

* Scratch a dog and you will find a permanent job. -- Franklin P. Jones

* Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. -- Max Eastman

* Anybody who does not know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -- Franklin P. Jones

* The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. -- Ambrose Bierce

* Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -- Roger Caras

* The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. -- Margo Kaufman

* Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. -- Robert Benchley

* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -- Rita Rudner

* Home is where the dog hair is. -- Author Unknown

* Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened. -- Author Unknown

FATHER'S DAY ~

* He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. -- Clarence Budington Kelland

* Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. -- Bill Cosby

* Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. -- William Wordsworth

* A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. -- Enid Bagnold

* Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! -- Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

* It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. -- Johann Schiller

* I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. -- M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

* Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. -- Author Unknown

* The greatest gift I ever had Came from God; I call him Dad! -- Author Unknown

* If roses grow in Heaven, Lord pick a bunch for me, place them in my Dad's arms & tell him they're from me. Tell him that I love him & when he turns to smile, place a kiss upon his cheek & hold him for a while. Because remembering him is easy, I do it everyday, but there's an ache within my heart that will never go away. I love you Dad. -- Author Unknown

* If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternately, there would never be more than three in a family. -- Lawrence Housman

FRIENDS ~

* I have a simple calculation on how long we will be friends. Count the stars in heaven + the sand on shore X the heartbeats = forever.

* If someone asks me what friendship is, I would sit next to you, pull you close to me, put my arms around you and say proudly ~ This is friendship!

* Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it. -- Cicero

* Friends have all things in common. -- Plato

* The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

* To like and dislike the same things, that is indeed true friendship. -- Sallust

* Hold a true friend with both your hands. -- Nigerian Proverb

* A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. -- Unknown

* A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

* True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it is lost. - Charles Caleb Colton

* A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. -- Anon

* Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend. -- Albert Camus

* A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body. -- Unknown

* A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age. -- Author Unknown

* May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. -- Irish Toast

* May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. -- Irish Toast

GIRLS / DAUGHTERS ~

* Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT IS relativity. -- Albert Einstein

* It is the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. -- Tallulah Bankhead

* Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. -- Dr. Laurence J. Peter

* Too many girls follow the line of least resistance--but a good line is hard to resist. -- Mae West

* A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot -- Allan Beck

* After all, a girl is - well, a girl. It is nice to be told you are successful at it. -- Rita Hayworth

* To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter. -- Euripides

* A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart. -- Author Unknown

* A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. -- Author Unknown

* Mothers and daughters are closest, when daughters become mothers. -- Author Unknown

* A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future. -- Author Unknown

* He that would the daughter win, must with the mother first begin. -- English Proverb

* A daughter is a mothers gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. -- Author Unknown

* And thou shalt in thy daughter see, This picture, once, resembled thee. -- Ambrose Philips

GOLF ~

* I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser. -- Arnold Palmer

* They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. -- Gardner Dickinson

* Golf - A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand and water. -- Bob Ryan

* I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them. -- Harry Toscano

* I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. -- Bob Hope

* One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water. -- Lee Trevino

* There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray. -- Lee Trevino

* If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants me to play through, let him. -- Bob Hope

* I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt. -- Chi Chi Rodriguez

GRADUATION ~

* There is a good reason they call these ceremonies 'commencement exercises.' Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning. -- Orrin Hatch

* An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. -- Benjamin Franklin

* All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder. -- Author Unknown

* Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life. -- Sandra Carey

* All of our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney

* Anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls the earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. But back where I come from, we have Universities, seats of great learning where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing that you haven't got: a diploma. -- Wizard of Oz to the Scarecrow

* To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness. -- John Dewey

* Graduation is not the end, it's the beginning. -- Unknown

* My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small; You never need to carry more than you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too. This is my wish. -- Rascal Flatts

* ... Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten. -- Natasha Bedingfield

* Never give up on a dream just because it will take time to accomplish - the time will pass anyway! -- Unknown

* Bear in mind that the wonderful things you learn in your schools are the work of many generations. All this is put in your hands as your inheritance in order that you may receive it, honor it, add to it, and one day faithfully hand it on to your children. -- Albert Einstein

* Your imagination is your preview of life's up and coming attractions. -- Albert Einstein, Physicist

HOME / FAMILY ~

* If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternately, there would never be more than three in a family. -- Lawrence Housman

* If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters. -- Nora ephron

* When we find a home that fits, we can step into it and pull its beautiful walls around our shoulders. -- Author Unknown

* Home is where one starts from. -- T.S. Eliot

* Home is where the dog hair is. -- Author Unknown

* Boys are God's way of telling you your house is too clean! -- Author Unknown

* Housework can't kill you. But why take the chance? -- Phyllis Diller

* My theory of housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire or block the refridgerator door, let it be. No one else cares, why should you? -- Erma Bombeck

* Home is where the heart is. -- Pliny the Elder

* A house is not a home until you can write, "I love you" in the dust on the furniture. -- Author Unknown

* Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. -- Robert Frost

* There is no place like home... except Grandma's. -- Author Unknown

* May your home be a place where friends meet, family gathers and love grows. -- Author Unknown

* A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. -- George Edward Moore

* Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts. -- Unknown

* The family is a haven in a heartless world. -- Christopher Lasch

* When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses. -- Dr. Joyce Brothers

* If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! -- Unknown

* Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. -- Edith Sitwell

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ~

* When life gives you scraps, make something with them. -- Author Unknown

* God never shuts one door without opening another. -- Irish Proverb

* Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. -- T.S. Eliot

* The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. -- Epicurus

* Life is too short for drama and pretty things! So, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly! -- Unknown.

* Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones. -- Phillips Brooks

* To succeed in life in today's world, you must have the will and tenacity to finish the job. -- Chin-Ning Chu

* All of our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney

* The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. -- Walt Disney

* Your imagination is your preview of life's up and coming attractions. -- Albert Einstein, Physicist

* There are some things you can learn best in the calm and others in a raging storm. -- Willa Cather, author

* Careful planning helps us maintain a sense of perspective, purpose and ordered priorities. -- Stephen Covey, Author and Speaker

* Never give up on a dream just because it will take time to accomplish - the time will pass anyway! -- Unknown

* Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life. -- Sandra Carey

* If you want to get the best out of a person you must look for the best that is in them. -- Bernard Haldane

* We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. -- Maya Angelou, poet

* Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed. -- Cavett Robert

* The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. -- Samuel Johnson, Lexicographer

* No great performance ever came from holding back. -- Don Greene, performance coach

* It is not what you do once in a while; it is what you do day in and day out that makes the difference. -- Jenny Craig, diet guru

* A strong imagination is always required to create a strong opportunity. -- Michel de Montaigne, writer

* Rowing harder does not help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. -- Kenichi Ohmae, business coach

* To be prepared is half the victory. -- Miguel de Cervantes

* In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. -- Paul Harvey, broadcaster

* Gardens are not made by sitting in the shade. -- Rudyard Kipling, author

* Not only strike when the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking. -- Oliver Cromwell, military leader

* Each person is the architect of their own fortune. -- Appius Caecus, builder

* We are made to persist. That is how we find out who we are. -- Tobias Wolff, Writer

* Strategic advantage lies in the leverage of knowledge. -- Robert Buckman

* Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. -- Harriet Beecher Stowe

* Happiness is mostly a byproduct of doing what makes us feel fulfilled. -- Benjamin Spock

* A person can succeed at almost anything for which they have unlimited enthusiasm. -- Charles M. Schwab

* Find something you are passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it. -- Julia Child, chef

* Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way. -- Abraham Lincoln

* I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou

* Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. -- Mary Bethune

* It is not enough to fight. It is the spirit that we bring to the fight that decides the issue. It is morale that wins the victory. -- George Marshall

* What you lack in talent can be made up with desire, hustle and giving 110% all the time. -- Don Zimmer

* The entrepreneur always searches for change, responds to it, and exploits it as an opportunity. -- Peter Drucker

* Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. -- Helen Adams Keller

* When written in Chinese, the word *crisis* is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity. -- John F. Kennedy

* Do the things you fear most, and the death of those fears is certain. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

* If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably does not lead anywhere. -- Frank A. Clark

* Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. -- William Jennings Bryan

* Constant effort and frequent mistakes are the stepping stones to genius. -- Elbert Hubbard, American Writer

* If you are not having problems, you are missing an opportunity for growth. -- Anonymous

* The quality of our expectations determines the quality of our actions and our results. -- Andres Godin

* An unexamined life cannot be a fulfilling life. -- Socrates

* Many of lifes failures are people who do not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. -- Thomas Edison

* The only thing that is fair in this world is the number of hours in a day. The difference in winning or losing is what you do with those hours. -- Woody Hayes

* I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it. -- Thomas Jefferson

* If you want to achieve a high goal, you are going to have to take some chances. -- Alberto Salazar

* I am not sure what the key to success is but I do know that the key to failure is trying to please everyone. -- Bill Cosby

* Determination is the down payment on sales achievement. -- Anonymous

* Chance favors those in motion. -- James H. Austin

* Nothing in life is more important than the ability to communicate effectively. -- Gerald R. Ford

* Give the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. -- Madeline Bridges

* We are all, right now, living the life we choose. -- Peter McWilliams

* Positive thinking ... is the key which unlocks the doors of the world. -- Samuel McChord Crothers

* May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward. -- Irish Toast

* There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. -- William Shakespeare

* Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. -- Theodore Roosevelt

* Make each day a new beginning. -- Unknown

* Enthusiasm and optimism can overcome any obstacle. -- Unknown

* The Greater the difficulty, the greater the glory. -- Cicero

* Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope. -- Helen Keller

* Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your objective. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

* Transform failure into success! -- Unknown

* Throughout the centuries, there were people who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision. -- Ayn Rand, Novelist

* Great things are not accidental, they must be willed. -- Vincent van Gogh, artist

* A man should never be ashamed to say he has been wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. -- Alexander Pope

* Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above it. -- Washington Irving

* You do not succeed because you do not know what you want or you do not want it intensely enough. -- Frank Crane, Minister

* I dream of painting and then I paint my dream. -- Vincent Van Gogh

* Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. It is full effort that becomes the full victory. -- Mahatma Gandhi, Statesman

* There's no such thing as not enough time if you're doing what you want to do. -- Robert Half

* All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. -- T.E. Lawrence

* To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. -- Winston Churchill

* You must do the things today that others will not do so that you can have the things tomorrow that others will not have. -- Anonymous

* The vision we have of our jobs determines what we do and the opportunities we see or don't see. -- Charles Koch, executive

* You get the best out of others when you get the best out of yourself. -- Harvey Firestone, tire executive

* Everything you reprove in another, you must carefully avoid in yourself. -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, statesman

* A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. -- English proverb

* All great and honorable actions are accompanied with great difficulties. -- William Bradford

* May your neighbours respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and heaven accept you. -- Irish Toast

MARRIAGE / WEDDING / ANNIVERSARY / LOVE

* May you enjoy more beautiful moments and continue to bask in the celebration of your marriage on all days.

* May you always look at your husband, the man whom you chose to spend the rest of your life together, with a glow of love and a feeling of being blessed.

* Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and fear of an end. -- Author Unknown.

* We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It is called love. -- Gene Perret

* Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. -- Michael Leunig

* I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,

     A church filled with family and friends.

     I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,

     He said one that would make me his wife. -- Author Unknown.

* Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. -- Author Unknown

* My whole heart for my whole life. -- French saying used on poesy rings

* I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. -- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

* A hundred hearts would be too few

     To carry all my love for you. -- Author Unknown

* I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -- Rita Rudner

* A life without love is like a year without summer. -- Swedish Proverb

* A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. -- Paul Sweeney

MILITARY / PATRIOTIC ~

* Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. -- Amelia Earhart

* Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. -- Thomas Paine

* America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. -- Abraham Lincoln

* This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. -- Elmer Davis

* Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have. -- Harry Emerson Fosdick

* The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons. -- Russian military doctrine.

* The best armor is staying out of gun-shot. -- Italian proverb

* There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives. -- Bumper Sticker

* You can have my gun when you pry it from my paranoid, mentally disturbed, physically-abusive, cold, dead hand. -- Bumper sticker.

* Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. -- Unknown

* Draft beer, not people. -- Unknown

* The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching. --Unknown

* If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace. -- Hamilton Fish

PREGNANCY ~

* If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternately, there would never be more than three in a family. -- Lawrence Housman

* If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters. -- Nora ephron

* Life is tough enough without having someon kick you from the inside. -- Rita Rudner

* The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. -- Rajneesh

* Prepared childbirth is a contradiction in terms. -- Joyce Armor

* There is a reason God makes you pee every 2 hours those last 3 months, it’s training for the every 2 to 4 hour feedings. -- Unknown

* Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes. -- Joyce Armor

* You can sort of be married, you can sort of be divorced, you can sort of be living together, but you can’t sort of have a baby. -- David Shire

* You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. -- Dave Barry

* A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are utterd, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother’s love. -- Thomas C. Haliburton

* Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife. -- Queen Victoria

* By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant. -- Phyllis Diller

* Childbirth classes neglect to teach one critical skll: How to breathe, count, and swear all at the same time. -- Linda Filterman

* God’s interest in the human race is nowhere better envinced than in obstetrics. -- Martin H. Fischer

* Have you ever tried getting out of your car through the exhaust pipe? -- Murphy Brown

* Having a baby is like taking your bottom lip and pulling it over your head. -- Carol Burnett

* I already know how to breath, and I’m the last person that needs to learn how to push. -- Murphy Brown

* If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family. -- Unknown

RELIGIOUS ~

* Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. -- John 14:27

* Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -- Hebrews 11:1

* The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. -- Psalm 23:1

* Let us love, not in words or speech, but in truth and action. -- 1 John 3:18

* May they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength. -- Judges 5:31

* God never shuts one door without opening another. -- Irish Proverb

* God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. -- Anonymous

* I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much. -- Mother Teresa

* We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love. -- Mother Teresa

* I have told you this sothat my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. -- John 15:11

* And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. -- 1 Corinthians 13:13

SEASONS ~

* Rainbows apologize for angry skies. -- Sylvia Voirol

* Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. -- Langston Hughes

* Sweet spring, full of sweet days and roses, A box where sweets compacted lie. -- George Herbert, Virtue

* In the spring, at the end of the day you should smell like dirt. -- Margaret Atwood

* The world is mud-licious and puddle-wonderful. -- E.E Cummings

* Spring makes everything look filthy. -- Katherine Whitehorn

* Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. -- Virgil A. Kraft

* To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. -- George Santayana

* The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. -- Dolly Parton

* A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water. -- Carl Reiner

* Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. -- Edith Sitwell

* Don’t knock the weather: nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while. -- Kin Hubbard

* Weather is a great metaphor for life ~ sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and there’s not much you can do about it but carry an umbrella. -- Terri Guillemets

* Weather forcast for tonight: dark. -- George Carlin

* Isn’t it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool’s Day and ends with cries of ’May Day!’? -- Unknown

* The world’s favorite season is the spring. All things seem possible in May. -- Edwin Way Teale

* Be like a flower and turn your face to the sun. -- Kahlil Gibran

* Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. -- Sam Keen

OTHER ~

* Born to shop; forced to work. -- Unknown

* A true scrapbook addict is one who stages photographs to match paper she likes. ~ Author Unknown